#13: Randy

#13: Randy

In order to know me better, you have to also know my husband. So I’ll introduce him to you for the sake of establishing a little perspective about me, OK?

Randy and I met, we think, about 17 years ago at church. I thought he was a brooding and insecure geek, and didn’t understand why all of my friends hung out with him. Bless his ever-loving heart, he just says he always thought highly of me. (He’s no dummy!)

By the time I left to move overseas, I thought highly of him right back. But there was no attraction between us whatsoever. In fact, when my church had me assemble a “sending team,” Randy was the only single guy I asked to be on my team simply because I knew our friendship had never and would never be complicated by thoughts of romance.

God seems to have accepted that as a challenge.

In 2006, I returned to the US for a four month “home assignment.” The first weekend I was back was Labor Day weekend, and some of the plans for our larger group of friends never materialized, leaving Randy and I spending time alone together. By the end of the weekend, we’d stayed up all night talking once and spent every day together, and I was pretty sure something was up (some wariness sets in when you’re single after 35). I had to leave for a week to attend a conference, and he faithfully called me often. We had our first date the night I returned.

He waited a little over three months to tell me that he loved me. I returned home to Budapest five months into our romance, and he says that it was at the airport that he decided to marry me. I remember it as the most difficult security line of my life – I wanted to ugly-cry right there in the Atlanta airport, and it took every drop of control I had not to.

After seven long weeks of daily phone calls (God bless Vonage!), he arrived to visit me and help me pack to return home (other forces led me to move home). I showed him Budapest and Prague, and together we explored Venice for the first time. He also asked me a very important question and gave me a very important piece of jewelry one night in Venice.

I don’t know how it happened, but I seem to have ended up in a shockingly (to me!) awesome marriage. I don’t think there is a formula to this thing. There are, however, some things that help.

One is that we spent some time when we were single working hard on our perspectives, our relationships with God, and our own human failings. Another is that we’ve both been privy to some not-so-great marriages in which spouses didn’t treat one another with respect. We’ve also both been in some unhealthy dating relationships, and learned from them and took responsibility for them.

Last, but not least, we like each other. He is fascinating to me because I don’t get why he does what he does. Sure, sometimes I get annoyed by these things; more often, however, I am the beneficiary of Randy’s unusual patterns of love, respect, and grace. He lets me off the hook for the things this oh-so-tired momma says and does almost every day.

This is in NO WAY an entry that could be alternatively titled “How to find the love of your life”! No way, Jose. I don’t AT ALL get the ways of God in this department. These are just some things that I think have helped make things good for Randy and me.

To know me, you need to know about this gift that I’ve been given. For me to not tell you about this would be like you winning the lottery and not telling anyone. Sure, people may be jealous, but it’s now an important thing about you, not having to worry about money at all.

Me, I still worry about money just like anyone, but not love. I don’t know why my lottery ticket won, but I don’t have to worry about love as long as Randy’s here.

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